are we there yet?

These thoughts just running through my head. It's hard to write them down clearly so I may not do them justice. This is about those in the gender binary though is not a denial of any others on the spectrum. I'm not a journalist, just writing what I feel....no editing or blue pencil so take it as read, if you can.

People that are trans, transgender...however you wish to say it are in a place that you could almost forget still existed in our nice clean civilised society in the 'west'.

For people that transition or have transitioned if you prefer you can be yourself. Life changed, ID changed, birth certificate changed....the picture on your passport, the gender marker on your medical records, the salutation used in official letters addressed to you. You may have no past any more, friends, family your history may no longer be there for you. People have lost wives husbands siblings children to be who they are. Others have been fortunate, understanding has prevailed, bigotry and intolerance has not gained a foothold and they have the thread of their past lives to where they are now. Money and privilege may have helped, giving financial and physical independence though not always a guarantee of an easier journey.

day by day though....

There is the talk of 'passing'. Do you 'pass'? Will people detect who you once were? This gets tied up in society's pressures of how a woman and a man look and behave....for a lot of people it's just a minor issue in comparison and usually linked more to whether people will question your sexuality ....like it's any business of theirs, I might add!  Are you gay? lesbian? too effeminate for a man? too butch for a woman?

You may be fortunate. Transition young, seem to be correct in your physical features, usually meaning 'attractive' for a female, 'manly' for a man...in short 'you pass'.    Perhaps you are older, transition later, don't have the resources for the surgical procedures, therapists and other specialist services that can help. So, you don't pass.

If you do, then you may hide your past, so you may be fearful that someone will 'out' you, discover your secret and expose you for the 'fake person' you are. 'You're just a bloke in a dress!'    'How could you lie to us?'   Your honesty questioned, integrity doubted, motives put up to the light of inspection. It can be hard to stand up and say 'yes this is me, and I used to pretend to be that person but now I am me'.

But then there is the lesson to be learned from those who don't pass. Ridicule, anger hate discrimination, violence may be your daily companion. Work colleagues, neighbours strangers in the street judging you because they don't understand, are ignorant, misinformed or bigoted through cultural or religious belief.  So better to hide? Safer to be thankful that you do pass? Are not questioned? Accepted....sort of?

For people who are trans, perception of who you are ....its deeper and more stark because it is about your gender identity, who you are and were and sadly, how you will be treated as a human being. The stereotypes of who is a woman or a man are slow to evolve and are often a cage of restrictions and masks for those not strong enough to break out of it and truly be themselves.

In every day life, what a lot of people take for granted is so different for people who are trans. Apparently, you may be 'disabled' when it comes to your choice of lavatory. Your rights to be treated with dignity and respect can be a battleground in so many ways, because to treat you differently is still seen as 'being realistic', to allow discrimination is merely 'a difference of opinion', questioning your assertion of feelings of hurt despair and anger as you 'being difficult, a troublemaker', not 'willing to make a compromise'.

In the past, people who were of Afro Caribbean origin were treated like this as a matter of course ...back of the bus with you, know your place. People who were Jewish had to change their name, deny their history for fear of hate. History has shown just how wrong it can be and how far this bigotry discrimination and hatred can go, the depths it can descend to. Apparently this kind of thinking is no longer accepted...isn't  it?

In some countries now, your right to travel on an air plane can rest on whether you seem to exhibit the correct 'look' to match the gender listed on your passport. This is decided arbitrarily by an official 'just doing his job'. In the past this may have been seeing if you had curlier hair than was to be expected, say Pretoria in the 1960's or a particular shaped nose, perhaps Berlin in the 1930's?

No escape if you are a child. Now, as I write this, a 10 year old is being told to use the disabled toilets at school to change in for gym....not because the other children have a problem with her, but for fear of what the parents may say.

Who you are is more than gender, race, sexuality, physical ability, age or origin of birth but it is clear that for some, this is all they are seen as, their existence is denied, their rights denied, their lives marred, scarred and poisoned because of institutional and individual bigotry intolerance hatred and ignorance.

Be old be physically psychologically or mentally impaired be gay lesbian genderqueer intersex trans look different look foreign it's all the same but be yourself.  

It's a hard fight and it's taking too bloody long at times it seems to me but what's the alternative?

Transgender Day of Remembrance

**
The Transgender Day of Remembrance was set aside to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. The event is held in November to honor Rita Hester, whose murder on November 28th, 1998 kicked off the “Remembering Our Dead” web project and a San Francisco candlelight vigil in 1999. Rita Hester’s murder — like most anti-transgender murder cases — has yet to be solved.

Although not every person represented during the Day of Remembrance self-identified as transgendered — that is, as a transsexual, crossdresser, or otherwise gender-variant — each was a victim of violence based on bias against transgendered people.

We live in times more sensitive than ever to hatred based violence, especially since the events of September 11th. Yet even now, the deaths of those based on anti-transgender hatred or prejudice are largely ignored. Over the last decade, more than one person per month has died due to transgender-based hate or prejudice, regardless of any other factors in their lives. This trend shows no sign of abating.

The Transgender Day of Remembrance serves several purposes. It raises public awareness of hate crimes against transgendered people, an action that current media doesn’t perform. Day of Remembrance publicly mourns and honors the lives of our brothers and sisters who might otherwise be forgotten. Through the vigil, we express love and respect for our people in the face of national indifference and hatred. Day of Remembrance reminds non-transgendered people that we are their sons, daughters, parents, friends and lovers. Day of Remembrance gives our allies a chance to step forward with us and stand in vigil, memorializing those of us who’ve died by anti-transgender violence.

** from the Facebook group: Transgender Day of Remembrance



International Transgender of Remembrance website



An article in todays Pink News on the Transgender day of Remembrance



A statement from Gordon Brown on TDOR



An article by a London trans activist in the Pink Paper from the 16th of November


The London event...

*From 2.15pm on Saturday 21st November at the 52 Club, Gower Street, London, trans people, their friends and allies will be remembering those who have died during the last year through violence or suicide because they were trans. If you can’t make it on the day, it would be lovely if you can take time out from whatever you are doing at the time and spare a minute or two thinking about those trans people who have died. If you encounter a transphobic incident, please take time to address it, whether it be reporting it to the police, writing in to a paper and making a complaint, signing a petition or just taking time out to learn more about the issues which trans people face. All challenges against transphobia will help, in the long run, towards reducing the harassment, discrimination and deaths of trans people.

Streetmap link for the 52 Club

* borrowed from the Pink News article above

outloud&proud

....Pride has been and gone....and wasn't it wonderful ?

the mad rushing around.....getting t shirts a banner and leaflets printed for spectrum putting the poles together the night before and the early start to the day on the Saturday...free breakfast on offer to the early birds soooooooooo........hot chocolate and cheesecake mmmmmmmmmmmmm seeing the crowd grow, the floats lining up.....the buzz in the air...its damp..its wet..its raining and no one gives a damn

the first viewing of the banner, photo opportunity !

..and we're off...the long march, the smiles and dancing and the calls of the crowd....people lining the streets all aglow with grins and good feelings....some seeing the banner call out ..'totenham!!! haringey!!!'drip drip little june showers.....rain comes down and we dont care, out and proud happy and loud....blow the whistle some more....even ticked off by one of the anarchos in amongst our sections....'can you be a bit quieter?' I offered to play the trumpet instead

things I remember...the spontaneous applause for the police sections of the march....the handful of sorry looking christians and fascists with their own banners.....poor things they looked soooooooo put out ..remember Riga you bastards, not so cock of the hoop now eh, compassionless ones....

it was a short march, the weight of the banner made it just seeeeeeeeeeeeeem that bit longer ...lucy the hero who didnt falter even when giving interviews....it was good to arrive...a quick nibble and a trawl of some stalls, thanks to camden for letting us put some of our new improved groovy leaflets on their stall...

it seems just a short while ago when we were in Trafalgar Square for a different reason.....no coconuts shells this time just smiles grins laughter and happy faces ....always look on the bright side of life...well, no need to sing that here today, tis already in full view

shame about the doctor..rain stopped play, so have to wait to watch it at home sometime.... a wonderful brilliant great happy gorgeous fabulous groovy day...