I've taken a pause, sat and waited, watched and remembered.
The insight I've had as I have remembered long forgotton events and people has shook me. Illusions and denial that last that long have a habit of doing that.
Why on earth did I think that? Why did that person allow my ignorance to continue? Did he seriously think I wouldn't one day remember? Did she think I was the buffoon, the fool, the retard for real?
Someone I know has recently had it confirmed that they are Aspergers. What they re thinking now, must be like shaking the snow globe and seeing it still with the room instead full of flakes. Past experiences, encounters revisited, perhaps re evaluated. Life begins again, possibly with knowledge but a differed view of the past.
I could be completely wrong, as who knows what goes on in a mind not their own, but I mention it because it is certainly akin to how I feel at times now.
I could get all metaphorical about broken spectacles and seeing clear, but as my current pair are held together with duper glue new improved formula and whatever else comes to hand I'll avoid the bad line, I'm wearing my purple/red shaded specs....a touch of style by accident maybe....
gut feeling
know your own self
trust what you know
folly becomes stupid second time around
to think that people that long ago abandoned friendship, who double talked and lied and turned their back on me....why the fuck would they be a true friend after all this time albeit folly facebull friends......strike me senseless with an old Night Train bottle if I didn't waste my time there.
Almost certainly I'm not alone, illusion is very familiar with time and the energy it takes to keep goin.
time to write some letters
forget texts
dig out some addresses from scraps of buried paper, it'll be pen n ink.
lick some stamps
practise my handwriting
and remember some more.
oh and support your post workers on strike!
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